after my pet scan

So last night I had a little breakdown as you can read. It's called the cancer blues...I've read about it. But I can assure you that I'm better today. I got up, took a shower, put on some make up and even styled my hair. I thought as long as I still have it, I might as well use it! I got high on some Lore tabs, and I was myself agin. Almost.

I was thinking about everything last night. And I came to the conclusion that it could be worse. I still have all my body parts, I can walk and drive, don't need assistance, I can eat by myself and go to the bathroom by myself. There are many people that can't do that. So I need to stop letting this thing control me and my life. I will not be sad anymore and when I'm in pain I will take pain medication. That's what they are for, right?

Every time I see one of my friends I see they look at me different. I see they are worried and I feel so bad. I'm asking myself what have I done so great in their life that they care so much. I can't figure it out. Humans are just interesting to me. I think it's in our nature to care about each other in tough times.

I really want to thank my grandmother Sonja. She has been watching Chloe for many of my appointments and has done so many great things for me. She was the one that found my support group. And just today she bought me things I need for my house, like toothpaste, toilet paper, juice, paper towel. Chloe loves her and I'm so happy she gets to spend time with her "krentma" like she always says.

The pet scan wasn't as bad as the MRI. They injected radioactive fluid called "the tracer" in my vein and I had to sit still in a dark room for about 30 min. The fluid sticks to all fast growing cells, like cancer cells. Then I had to lay down on a table that was moved into the Pet scanner, a doughnut-like shaped machine. The machine took 3D pictures of my entire body. The fluid is suppose to glow up on the pictures. That took about 25 min. The results will be back in 2-3 days.

All the new things we have learned!

Oh by the way, I had 400 visitors in 2 weeks. I really don't know where all the traffic comes from but I wish everybody would leave me some feedback or tell me how they found my blog!

I'm starting to record videos very soon!