I have been keeping myself very busy the last couple of weeks that I did not even realize that it's time for another round.
I have been taking pictures, meeting up with old friends, meeting up with new friends and got rid of the bad ones! I have been going to church a lot, the sunday service, bible study, dinners and yoga which is called Yo-god. The yoga is my favorite I think. So relaxing...
I've been taking good care of myself in the last two weeks. I'm avoiding any kind of stress and I'm taking time for myself. Before I never liked to be alone but one day I realized how relaxing it can be. I put Chloe to bed around 8.30 and I can do whatever I want for myself. I take baths, read a book, edit pictures, watch a movie or just go to sleep early.
I meet someone new almost every day. It's kind of hard to keep up with names and phone numbers.
I'm so glad that my passion for photography came back. I just love doing it and the results surprise me sometimes.
Chloe has been so wonderful lately. She is my little sunshine. She listens very well and gives me so much love. She is so much fun and makes me laugh all the time. She has a weird sense of humor and she can even be ironic sometimes. She likes to climb in my bed in the middle of the night to snuggle up to me. I don't like to encourage that habit but it just feels good to me right now. I always look forward to it at night. I can hear her little fingernails scratch the sheets while she tries to climb on my king size bed. Then I can feel her hot breath on my face while she squeezes herself close to me. And a couple minutes later I can hear her snore.
I was having lunch with a friend yesterday who has breast cancer and just finished her treatment. She had the exact same symptoms like me and felt the darkness during the chemo. I thought I was the only one!
I also went to a breast cancer support group meeting today. It was ok. They had a speaker tonight and she was talking about how we have to love ourselves and was telling us about colors we should wear, accessories and make up. She also made us a box for our happy thoughts. We are suppose to write notes about what makes us happy and read them every time we are down.
My first note was "my daughter makes me very happy"
I also saw my bosom buddy that I have not seen in a while.
I went to the gym today for the first time since probably 6 months. I was scared at first and halfway through my run I started having a pain around my heart area. Of course I started thinking I was having a heart attack but I went away when I slowed down. The chemo can cause damage to your heart and that's all I was thinking about. But I did good. I ran 2 miles and did some weights. But tonight I'm eating cookies!! I might get it right tomorrow!
I started my period today. Most of you probably think, so what? Before I had cancer I wished I would never be on my period but today it was like christmas. For some of you that don't know, my doctor told me I might not be able to have children after my treatment. So every period is a little hope for me. I always wanted to have 5 kids.
I think I'm really prepared for this round and hopefully I won't get sick at all!
Oh and by the way, I stopped believing in statistics I only believe in god now!
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